A joke is a very serious thing.

    A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a
    chance to get its pants on.

    A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist
    sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

    A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen
    tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the
    ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

    A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then
    asks you not to kill him.

    All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a
    single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.

    Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives, I
    feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.

    Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be
    postponed.

    An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him
    last.

    Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  

    Battles are won by slaughter and maneuver. The greater the
    general, the more he contributes in maneuver, the less he
    demands in slaughter.  

    Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old
    words best of all.

    Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to
    unlocking our potential.

    Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities...
    because it is the quality which guarantees all others.

    Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also
    what it takes to sit down and listen.

    Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the
    same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an
    unhealthy state of things.

    Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.

    Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies
    from saving what is left of the old.

    Eating words has never given me indigestion.

    Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.


    For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all
    parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to
    write that history myself.

    Great and good are seldom the same man.

    He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

    Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.

    History is written by the victors.

    History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

    However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at
    the results.

    I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much
    better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.

    I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality by contact
    with this great novel land of yours which sticks up out of the
    Atlantic.

    I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being
    taught.

    I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything
    else.

    I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact,
    if anything, I am the prod.

    I am easily satisfied with the very best.

    I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs
    treat us as equals.

    I am never going to have anything more to do with politics or
    politicians. When this war is over I shall confine myself entirely
    to writing and painting.

    I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared
    for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

    I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt
    for people who get drunk.

    I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.

    I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of
    me. ll

    I like a man who grins when he fights.

    I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you
    will still be ugly.

    I never worry about action, but only inaction.

    I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
    failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer, I
    should at once have been rightly cast aside.

    I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.

    If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference
    to the devil in the House of Commons.

    If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite
    period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a
    peaceful and helpful way toward one another.

    If we open a quarrel between past and present, we shall find that
    we have lost the future.  

    If you are going through hell, keep going.

    If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
    make the rubble bounce

    Play the game for more than you can afford to lose... only then
    will you learn the game.

    Politics are very much like war. We may even have to use poison
    gas at times.

    Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In
    war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times. \

    Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business.

    Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen
    tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the
    ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

    Really I feel less keen about the Army every day. I think the
    Church would suit me better.

    Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and
    the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of
    misery.  

    Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.

    Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be
    shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough
    people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon.

    Study history, study history. In history lies all the secrets of
    statecraft.

    Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of
    enthusiasm.

    Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of
    enthusiam.

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to
    continue that counts.

    Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer.

    The best argument against democracy is a five-minute
    conversation with the average voter.

    The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only
    people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be
    told the worst.

    The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.

    The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can
    see.

    We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us.

    When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or
    attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time
    when I come home.

    When the war of the giants is over the wars of the pygmies will
    begin.

    When you are winning a war almost everything that happens can
    be claimed to be right and wise.

    When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

    Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd.
    Without innovation, it is a corpse.

    You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after
    they've tried everything else.

    You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for
    something, sometime in your life.

    We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of
    inspiration and survival.

    We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.

    If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for
    the law.

    If you're going through hell, keep going.

    In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I
    must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

    In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently
    take my advice.

    In war as in life, it is often necessary when some cherished
    scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if
    so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.

    In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times.

    In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be
    attended by a bodyguard of lies.

    India is a geographical term. It is no more a united nation than
    the Equator.

    It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government
    except all the others that have been tried.

    It is a fine thing to be honest, but it is also very important to be
    right.

    It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of
    quotations.

    It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of
    destiny can be handled at a time.

    It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than
    you can see.

    It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.

    It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to
    succeed in doing what is necessary.

    It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe that
    had the lion's heart. I had the luck to be called upon to give the
    roar.

    Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.

    Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and
    planning.

    Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the
    time he will pick himself up and continue on.

    Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of
    champagne; knowing him was like drinking it.

    Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick
    themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

    Most people stumble over the truth, now and then, but they
    usually manage to pick themselves up and go on, anyway.

    My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to
    persuade my wife to marry me.

    My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking
    cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need
    be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

    My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have
    breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

    Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder
    is in the room.

    Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so
    many to so few.

    Never, never, never give up.

    "No comment" is a splendid expression. I am using it again and
    again.

    No crime is so great as daring to excel.

    No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a
    searching but at the same time a steady eye.

    No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable
    than the fighting of elections.

    Nothing can be more abhorrent to democracy than to imprison a
    person or keep him in prison because he is unpopular. This is
    really the test of civilization.  

    Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

    Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.
    But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

    One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.

    One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and
    try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger.
    But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce
    the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!

    Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right, than to be
    responsible and wrong.

    Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like
    being taught.

    The first quality that is needed is audacity.

    The great defense against the air menace is to attack the
    enemy's aircraft as near as possible to their point of departure.

    The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of
    blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing
    of miseries.

    The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its
    being read.

    The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist
    sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

    The power of an air force is terrific when there is nothing to
    oppose it.

    The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over
    himself.

    The price of greatness is responsibility.

    The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of
    defeat, but they are no less difficult.

    The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to
    extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the
    writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.

    The short words are best, and the old words are the best of all.

    The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may
    deride it, but in the end; there it is.

    There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the
    worst of it is that half of them are true.

    There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-
    dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and
    kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

    There is no such thing as a good tax.

    There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published
    opinion.

    There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without
    result.

    These are not dark days: these are great days - the greatest days
    our country has ever lived.

    This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and
    endure.

    This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of
    being read.

    Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and
    those who could make a good peace would never have won the
    war.

    To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To
    destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.

    To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.

    To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

    Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because he does
    not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has
    remained silent.

    True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain,
    hazardous, and conflicting information.

    Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however
    long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no
    survival.

    War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin.
    If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.

    War is mainly a catalogue of blunders.

    We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.

    We are asking the nations of Europe between whom rivers of
    blood have flowed to forget the feuds of a thousand years.

    We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let
    slip out.

    We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty.

    We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.

    We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be
    English.

    We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we
    give.

    We occasionally stumble over the truth but most of us pick
    ourselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. l

    We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall
    fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we
    shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the
    hills; we shall never surrender.

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